The gifts of your feminine being cannot be extracted, they must unfold and bloom
Something that I have found with gifts that are more predominantly encased within the frequencies of the feminine (the intangible, the heart-felt, the non-quantifiable), is that we cannot force them into being.
We cannot exploit the interiority of our feminine path, just to make our outer selves feel more comfortably received (or to make others around us feel more comfortable).
Most of the women drawn to my work are used to feeling the ongoing pressure to orient themselves to the world through a deeply masculinised version of who they truly are.
A version of self that demands a certain adherence to constructs of achievement, productivity and success that have been defined according to a world that over-emphasises masculine expressions of externality, linearity and mind-based clarity.
Yet the deeper gifts of the feminine don’t lie in this realm.
The feminine works through more intangible expressions that are not so much about what we are doing, producing and achieving externally, but more so about who we are Being. Feminine being is the soft ground that lies beneath tangible outcomes and actions.
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One of the deepest ways that we unconsciously push aside the vitality of our feminine being and deeper gifts, is by believing that unless something can be be easily linearised, quantified or extrinsically measured, it is not valid.
I have seen how this causes many feminine-essenced souls to push, force or contort their gifts, expression and knowledge into something that is outwardly perceived to be more valuable. Something more immediately validating to the outer world.
I have seen this arise in business and creativity, where there can be deep struggles to believe in and share one’s gifts if they are less tangible or “solution” focused. Where there can be a sense of ‘there are so many people already doing/offering that’- not realising that for a feminine being, the ‘commodity’ offered within the business is secondary to the distinctive way that one’s inner value, gifts and soul are expressed through the outer business.
I have also seen this arise in relationship, where some of the deepest expressions of the feminine nature- receptivity, tenderness, radiance, heart- are not nurtured, protected and valued by a woman, but instead pushed down and diminished in the normalised flurry to “get things done.”
We so often do not believe that our feminine essence is actually the most potent gift of all. Or, alternatively, we misunderstand our feminine being as being something that we have to perform externally, or work towards to ‘achieve’.
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Our feminine gifts are usually not given time to bloom naturally and fully.
Instead, a women is very often taught to treat herself with a level of force that is deeply violent to the feminine soul. Violence is a strong word, I know. But if we reflect on the many ways that we have been taught to ignore our deeper essence, override our bodily wisdom and push ourselves to meet arbitrary expectations that are not rooted in organic expression, we can see the harsh way our culture conditions us to relate to our inner feminine landscape.
It is a conditioning that prevents us from honouring interiority, naturalness and the depth of feminine being, and instead teaches us to push and override our deeper beings for the sake of extrinsic norms that often require much artificial contorting and pushing to achieve.
Yet the feminine being refuses to yield to this type of force.
What I have seen, is that if this force is consistently inflicted on a woman’s feminine being, her gifts and expression will have no choice but to burrow deeper into the interiority of her soul while the distorted masculine that she has internalised as ‘the way’ runs the show.
She forgets the ancient feminine ways that celebrated tending, not pushing. Nurturing, not forcing. Softening, not striving. Listening, resting, receiving. Deepening internal roots. Honouring feminine rhythms. Allowing for natural bloom. Letting things birth naturally, without rushing and forcing them into being.
She forgets the healing power of speaking with deep tenderness and love to her (often unconsciously grief-ridden) feminine heart, as she creates a fertile space for her feminine being to unfurl.
There can be much resistance to reclaiming this softened process, as a woman bumps up against the inevitable outer pressure to masculinise her feminine being, to rush her feminine gifts into expression, to distort herself into something that can be more tangibly received.
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Something that is so important to remember in all of this, is that the feminine being contains deep value in and of herself. The gifts of the feminine do not need to have a function beyond what they inherently are.
Or, to put it differently, the purpose of our feminine being is not found in the subsequent outcome our feminine gifts produce- instead, the function exists in the gift itself.
Much like a piece of art does not have a utilitarian function that can be explained in logical terms, but rather, is inherently purposeful in its being.
Much like reading a piece of poetry does not provide us with practical or linear knowledge, but instead, nestles directly into our senses and weaves intangibly into our soul.
Much like the way we may pepper our homes with objects that we cannot ‘use’, but rather, evoke beauty, feeling, a sense of home.
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This deeper, more intangible value of the feminine and her gifts is something that we can often grapple with. I know that for me, it has taken me some time to truly believe in the value of my gifts that are not rooted in some kind of extrinsic function, or do not serve as a bridge to some kind of clear ‘outcome.’
Yet more and more, I am believing in the value that is found in that which is deeply and unapologetically intangible. The relational, the beautiful, the poetic, the subjective, the artistic, the tender, the graceful, the soft, the inward.
This of course isn’t to say that there is no value in that which is more externally functional and utility based, that which is more tangibly seen, that which solves and fixes, that which has a precise and explainable purpose. Of course these expressions and modes of external production are deeply valuable in our world.
Yet in our over-exaltation of this more masculine expression, we devalue the less tangible gifts that stem from the sensibilities of the feminine soul.
And this is something that I have seen deeply impacting the woman who holds deep feminine gifts, causing a lot of confusion and doubt around her natural gifts, desires, expression, pace and path…
read on
This full piece of writing now lives in the ‘Soften & Bloom ebook’ if you would like to read more.
Belinda x